Learning to Program

Hello all aspiring IT enthusiasts -- here's a quick, heavily important topic relating to a skill every hacker should have some solid knowledge and capabilities of: programming!! But which one(s)?

I don't know how to program, nor would I be able to really recognize which is which. Now, I know in order to become more elite and proficient with my network pen. testing skills, programming would be extremely valuable. It could help automate some redundant tasks in order to prepping for surveying a network/target, writing an insert to be placed inside a PDF document, writing an insert to be placed in an HTML tag of a photo or word document, or simply understanding a exploit or piece of code from a payload, and being able to take that code and add to it or manipulate it as desired. Programming can come in so many different uses, more than I could imagine. And the examples given are not based off of personal experience but of readings and self-imagined scenarios.

So the question comes back -- for someone who doesn't know how to program, yet wants to get his/her feet wet and learn a solid good language for a first timer, which language you everyone here suggest? Java? PHP? SQL(is that a language? lol), C?, C++? Python, which language would you guys suggest for a first timer, completely new to the realm? A language that's.... easiest, yet most useful for pen testing? Any suggestions?

aJ